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This is 35

Updated: Jun 21, 2020

What do you want to be when you grow up? This is a question I'm sure we have faced at one point or another. I can remember my answer to that question changing more than once over the years. I wanted to be an architect, nurse, an aerospace engineer, a lawyer, and a doctor. What was the end result? NURSE PRACTITIONER!

If you asked me what I thought my life would look like when I turned 35 it was very different from my current reality. I thought I would own a home, be married, have kids and a fabulous career. I didn't do too bad for myself and live a good life but something is missing.

When I was growing up my parents taught me to love God. They encouraged me to get an education and "not let what a man brings to the table be all you have to eat." "Get an education and nobody can ever take that away from you." They wanted an education for me so I could secure a good job, provide for myself and make it in the world. I feel like to this point I have made them proud. I have checked off the boxes and met all the goals I had set for myself to this point

but now I feel this deep question tugging at me. Now what?

Maybe this is when the mid life crisis is supposed to start. Lately I simply don't know what is next for me in this life and it is the strangest feeling for a person like myself who is obsessed with knowing where things are going, following the rules and staying on the right course.

I hear that clock ticking in my head telling me it's time for family and kids but much of that is out of my control as well. I had a long term boyfriend for the last 9 years. However, longevity does not equal being ready. I find myself anxious to fill the void in my life yet devoid of ideas on how to do it?

What do you do when you don't know what to do? Have you ever felt stuck in your life? This is 35.

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